Corey had a quiet day. She did take a 3 hour nap this afternoon. It actually is unusual for her to sleep like this in the middle of the day. I am reminded that sound sleep and quiet rest is also part of the healing process.
Corey’s reflux seems to be worsening. She was not feeling well at all today. She had some issues Friday and Saturday night as well as multiple times today. The frightening piece to this is that Corey doesn’t manage swallowing more than her normal saliva. Her reflux is more than she can handle and she frequently chokes. We are concerned she will aspirate. I’ve written the doctors to discuss this tomorrow.
I had an interesting revelation this evening. As I sat with Corey I realized that I have regained that internal sense of when something is not quite right with her. When the kids were little I used to “know” they were sick before they did. I sensed it. Prior to the accident Corey and I were in the family room watching television. I remember looking at Corey and thinking to myself, she has become her own woman. I don’t have the same inner voice that can tell how she’s feeling and what’s on her mind. I remember thinking she’s ready to go off on her own; she’s her own person now.
Since the accident, each day we spend together I can feel the connection with her. I can once again sense how she’s feeling. This certainly doesn’t mean she isn’t staying true to herself nor does it mean that she’s still not independent. It simply tells me that for right now, we have an energy that enables us to communicate with one another. She can speak to me with a glance, there’s no need for words today. When I misinterpret what she is trying to say, she turns her head left and fixates her eyes to the right. I acknowledge that it’s me that cannot understand, not Corey that is unable to communicate her needs. She is patient with me as I try to come into her world rather than force her to come out to mine.
Corey thank you for letting me know how I can help you. Thank you for guiding me and validating our successes. We will develop what works for us. I also know that as you want to express more thoughts our “conversations” will change. I will continue to keep looking for new ways for us to talk to one another; as well as promise to continue to be patient with myself as we work to find our rhythm of communication. No worries kiddo, we will figure it out! Happy dreams, xoxo