Merry Christmas Everyone!
We hope you all had a wonderful holiday. Many of you have mentioned reading Corey’s page has become a daily ritual. Hearing from you has become ours and we’ve missed you!
Caitlin and JohnPaul came home for Christmas Eve. We had a quiet evening at home. The Elves and Santa were very good to all of us. Not only were there Secret Santa gifts, the elves cooked and delivered dinner too! I think that was my favorite gift; I know the kids enjoyed having food and xmas cookies in the house! Christmas Day the kids, John and I had a short visit before they had to head back into Philly.
Corey had a quiet weekend but managed to show us a few new signs that she’s still fighting hard. She is becoming much more expressive and beginning to show her emotions. She has also begun to wiggle her toes! We’re still not sure, but all of us think we’ve seen a little smirk that might be the start of that beautiful smile we miss so much.
Our prayer warriors have been praying for a Christmas Miracle. Unfortunately, Corey is not Lazarus and she’s not up walking and talking…yet! It is an understatement that this is the hardest path we’ve ever walked. Some ask, ‘where does your inner strength come from’? Inner Strength for me comes from what I find most precious ~ my children. But this just gives me the drive to do whatever needs to be done on their behalf. I’ve been asked to share ‘where does the spiritual strength come from’? Truthfully, we are no different than any of you. Our fear, worry, frustration and doubts are universal. I believe the inspiration and spiritual strength comes from sharing about them openly and honestly. We gain strength from each other. Listening and learning how we each deal with whatever challenges we face. Sometimes we can only listen. Nonetheless, these are the gifts we give each other. It’s the essence of coping with any situation.
Spending the day with Corey, working with her in PT/OT and watching our new reality is excruciating. There are times it is impossible to think there is a God. I’ve often commented that ‘it’s difficult to believe when God doesn’t have any skin’. I will share that this is when I get creative. In my minds eye, He sits across from me. His eyes are gentle and compassionate. His listens attentively and cry’s with me because He feels the pain and sorrow too. I have permission to yell at Him because He understands the frustration and uncertainty I feel. And then when I am emotionally exhausted, He places His hands under my elbows and helps me to stand up to continue walking forward. When I feel as if I’m alone, He gently reminds me through my family and friends that He’s still beside me.
Inner strength has it’s foundation in gratitude for the daily gifts we’re given. Look for them! Write them down and build on them. It will give strength and direction. This was not the Christmas we expected. However, we continue to receive amazing gifts! We are most grateful for our family and the number of friends we have that visit, call or write, and share their encouraging words and faith with us. Corey, we are grateful for your inner strength! Don’t give up honey, even if it takes longer than you want it to. Each little accomplishment is a tremendous gift towards recovery. We love you, xoxo