Happy Easter Everyone,
Normally on Easter morning the kids would wake up, come down stairs, find their Easter baskets filled with candy and we’d have an Easter egg hunt. We would hide the plastic eggs around the house. Each year the number of eggs would grow and we’d write the number of eggs hidden in jelly beans on a table per room. (That was really for us so we didn’t forget an egg and find it a year later) Some eggs had candy, some had money! The kids would stampede through the threshold of each room like it was the California Gold Rush! Once all the eggs were accounted for it was candy for breakfast!
Today I woke up with Roxie and Amelia. They weren’t really interested in looking for eggs so I headed into Philly for breakfast with the kids. Prior to my leaving, I read the carepages and saw the post from our friend Gail dedicating Katy Perry’s song Firework to Corey. As I approached the city and looked at the skyline I thought of our trips into the city with the kids. Corey loved going to spend time with JohnPaul and Caitlin. I was beginning to get very melancholy when thinking of past trips. She and I would chat, laugh and listen to music all the way in. I turned on Corey’s favorite radio station and wouldn’t you know it, Katy Perry’s Firework song was playing! I opened the windows, turned the radio up and cried across the Platt Bridge all the way into town. The lyrics really were written for Corey.
The kids and I had a great breakfast. Caitlin had to work this afternoon but JohnPaul, his girlfriend Mackenzie and I went out to visit Corey. It was a gorgeous day. We went to the goose pond, told stories, laughed and shared a great afternoon together. Corey was relaxed, alert and responsive.
This holiday represents trust, faith, and hope and believing in something you can’t see, feel or touch. It’s a stretch for many people, I’m not the exception. Someone said to me recently that they haven’t felt God since their child’s accident. I remember a post several months ago stating ‘Believe even when you don’t “feel” God, because He’s always there’. Today as I was getting dressed I was thinking of the meaning of the day. I thought about that statement and could relate it to the following analogy. I’ve had 3 cesarean sections. When I touch my stomach, it’s numb from the surgeries; but that doesn’t mean I’m not physically touching the scar. Although I don’t feel God (or my mother for that matter) this analogy reminds me that the wound on my heart is deep. It is healing but it’s numb. It doesn’t mean that God, my mother and every other angel “up there” are not with us each day just because I can’t ‘feel’ them. This perspective is what I have to trust, hope and believe in…
Corey we’re going to work this week One Day at a Time. Your job is to keep exercising and listen to the clinical/therapy team. My job is to find a new hat with a new rabbit to pull out and try to keep you where you are. Let’s not think to hard about the God thing…let’s just do what we do and trust that He’s there working along side of us as our silent coach. Happy dreams honey, see you tomorrow xoxo