I have been preparing for my meeting with Senator Dominic Pileggi. Part of that preparation has been to reread parts of this journal. A year ago this week we were beginning the appeals for the forced discharged from Bryn Mawr. It’s strange to look back at difficult times. My writing brought back many emotions I have since tried to move past.
Caitlin and I were out this morning running errands and she asked me how the planning was going. After I shared some of the past memories she reflected, “Do you remember where we were last year”? “Not physically, I mean emotionally”. “It was the most horrible place; an emotional roller coaster. Fighting everyone, stress, tension, uncertainty; it was a dark time but the good news is, we don’t ever have to go back to that place again”. “In fact, the next time we need to find a nursing home it will be for you”! “Oh and by the way, Corey owes you big time. She has to take care of you…JohnPaul and I are totally off the hook”…(don’t you love kids…but this one makes me laugh!)
Coincidently a friend of mine sent me a motivational reading today that truly summed up where we were and where we are today. The following are key sentences from that reading;
There are times in our lives that lend themselves to starting something new ~ Starting new is most powerful when we focus our attention to what we are choosing to create. Giving all of our attention to the unwanted aspects of our lives allows what we resist to persist. We need to remember to leave enough room in the process of new beginnings to be kind to ourselves, because it takes time to become accustomed to anything new, no matter how much we like it. There is no need to get down on ourselves if we don’t reach our new goals instantly. Instead, we acknowledge the forward motion and choose to reset and start again, knowing that with each choice we learn, grow, and move forward ~ Each time we choose to start anew we dedicate ourselves to becoming the best we are able to be.
The doctors told us they had no idea what we could expect with Corey. She may never recover and/or have a functional life. We certainly didn’t choose to start anew but we made a decision to keep moving forward. We were scared to death! How are we qualified? We don’t have the skill or the knowledge or resources in order to deal with this new life. Actually I can remember feeling the same way when the kids were born. So we had to start with what we had ~ Corey was alive and we would learn how to steadily grow with her. Now, almost 18 months later, we have acquired new skills, developed new knowledge and gained access to new resources.
Corey you were a blank canvas and look at the story you’re telling today. Your decision to continually push forward is helping you grow intellectually and regain your strength physically. Now that you have found and are developing what you need to continue, you can move forward in the direction you want to go ~ becoming the best you can be! I’m so proud of you, xoxo