Corey is alert and coherent in many ways and yet at times her short term memory appears to be getting worse. As an example, she is having difficulty remembering the names of the cats and the dog. One moment she is aware of her surroundings and within the next hour she has no recognition of the house, the animals or me.
And then there are moments of clarity. We had an interesting conversation this morning. We were sitting together when Corey asked me “What happened to me”.
~What do you mean?
“Why do I have a brain injury”?
~You were in a car accident. You broke your neck, clavicle and pelvis
“I have a traumatic brain injury”
~Yes, you do; but you’re healing and getting better
“Who was driving”?
Corey got very upset, “is she okay”?
~She is fine now, she needed time to heal too and she’s 100% better
“Who hit us”?
~I don’t know them. They were driving a truck and hit your door very hard.
“It hurt my brain”
~Yes, it hurt you so much that you forgot how to walk, talk and eat. You have to relearn everything and that’s why we workout at the gym so you remember everything.
“I don’t remember a lot of things”
~That’s okay, you will
“Do they know how hurt I am”?
~I don’t know honey. It doesn’t matter; we know you’re getting better everyday.
I remember sitting with Nick and Brian discussing these moments of clarity. They warned me that someday Corey could get to this point. They told me that I would be mourning the loss of “what could have been” not only for my self, but for Corey as well. Then they prepared me for when she had her awakening. I was told I would need to be strong for her. She will be mourning her life and I will be watching (one of the toughest circumstances I would ever have to face).
They also told me that if I chose to focus on what could have been, I would miss who Corey and I are today. Nothing stays the same. If the accident never happened, we wouldn’t be the people we were prior to the accident because we continue to evolve each day into what we could be.
Corey the accident changed our lives. It changed who we were and who we are today. It changed us for the better. What could have been may not have truly played out they way we thought it would have. What might be has yet to be determined…it could be even greater than our limited vision.
You have a purpose that is all your own. The injuries you sustained do not define who you are. You are more than your injuries. The person you are meant to be is still evolving and not limited by your current physical or cognitive abilities. Remember we can’t see the beauty of what’s ahead of us if we are staring at the scenery behind us. Try to appreciate the view we are privileged to see today, xoxo