We received an interesting email today from a very close friend of ours. She shared Corey’s carepage with her daughter, who in turn passed on her story and carepage link to a family that is one month into their new life living with TBI.
The email talked about never knowing where your gifts of grace come from. Sharing our daily challenges as we learn to cope with our “new normal” has in turn helped someone else.
My reply was a thank you of my own. It was a timely gift of grace for me. I have been struggling over the last 2-3 weeks with the reality that Traumatic Brain Injury is a slow recovery and I’m feeling the fatigue of just what living it, 24/7, truly means. A nurse sarcastically commented ‘it only took 2 years’!
I have been thinking of this new family. There may be 2 years difference between our start dates but the last few weeks have felt as if there hasn’t been a time lapse.
We all face challenges and each challenge is multi-faceted. Each decision and/or response leads to more choices, concerns and questions. Many people turn to their faith to gain strength. I’ve frequently mentioned that has been a difficult concept for me ~ it’s hard to believe in something that doesn’t have skin. Accept, Believe and Trust; 3 additional words that require the willingness to open your heart and let go of the worry, fear and resentment. If you can do it, your reward is Courage. Once you’ve secured your prize it will allow you to forge a path regardless of the obstacles that try to block the direction you’re meant to follow. Even if you can’t maneuver the hurdles, courage gives you the ability to keep trying. Unfortunately, there are day’s you can’t find your track shoes.
My friend reaffirmed that it is as important to write about “the hard days” as it is to share the best of the “good days”. We can learn how to cope from the details of both.
I went searching for my words; not on my favorite websites, but in my books. I stumbled upon a small journal I used to keep in my handbag. The pages are filled with quotes, messages revealed within conversations and affirmations recorded over 4 years. The pages were well worn, dog-eared and highlighted. Despite reading and rereading the entries over the years, I always manage to find something new between the covers.
~ Commit to find ways to grow within the complications and use those times to move closer to God. ~ Author unknown
~ How I come to understand God is not nearly as important as knowing that God understands me.
~ Clear my mind of all the fears and worries – sit still and look for the joys in today. Everything else will take care of itself.
Be with me.
Take my hand.
Give me strength for today’s climb.
Protect me from sliding into self pity.
Help me to get up if I should stumble.
Keep your eye on me.
…I AM with you.
November 13, 2012 ~ A prayer request
Tomorrow Corey will have a CAT scan and visit with her neurosurgeon. She has been complaining of headaches and we’ve discovered several indentations along the scar line of the craniotomy. It’s rare, but not unheard of, that the plate can slip (10/3/10 skull piece removed to allow the brain to swell then 12/10/10, replaced when the swelling decreased). The indentations could be a sign that the body is trying to reabsorb the plate. It could also be a sign that the VP shunt is set to high.
Corey’s headaches and recent fatigue associated with the days she has headaches are a concern. Everything could be fine but it’s best to be safe; the mom/caregiver is worried.
Please keep Corey in your thoughts tomorrow and please send up an extra prayer for “Katelyn” and her family as they try to find their Courage. It gives us all comfort to hear we’re not alone as we keep looking for those track shoes, xoxo