I know you all understand this journal shares the highlight of our day and I, too, like to focus on those moments but once in awhile those 5 minutes don’t exist on a given day.
Today was one of those days I am grateful is over! We had a rough overnight and Corrine moved in at 6am; there has been no sign of Corey anywhere.
Although Corey continues to make incredible strides in so many areas, her memory loss remains our greatest daily challenge.
Its futile to argue or reason with her when we face a day like today primarily because she doesn’t remember her reactions nor the topic that created her outburst. We just have to ride the wave of screaming tirades and watch the clock.
This was a day my mantra alternated with ‘I love my child, I love my child, I love my child’ … ‘I will not sell her to the gypsies’ … ‘we can do this’ … ‘breathe, exhale, breathe deeper’ … ‘remember 50 first dates’ … ‘distraction, distraction, distraction’ … ‘here we go again’ … ’24 hours, I can do anything because today is only 24 hours’.
Some people may be concerned that I talk to myself through my mantra’s…and yes, I also answer! When days are hard like today I remember the blog entries from other TBI families. Families with years of experience managing this “new normal”. Entries that aren’t always positive yet still hopeful and helpful in that they validate the emotions we cope with daily.
What is normal?…
the second hand moves yet time stands still.
standing in the middle of the room,
the walls are spinning,
the window reflects the change in seasons,
the pages of the calendar tear one by one drifting to the floor.
Where’s the door?
Close your eyes
Feel the energy both positive and negative
Open your eyes
The world is still moving,
no need for a calendar,
no need to count the minutes,
use perspective as the key,
unlock the door to your heart,
step out of the chaos,
remember…it’s okay to ask for directions, xoxo