today was a really bad day everyone, i am just telling you because i was really frustrated today. i did not want to go to the pool. i do not like that people have to come and stay with me to take care of me. mom showed me pictures of me in the hospital and living at bryn mawr. seeing those pictures did not really help. i had no idea who it was, then my mom had to once again explain to me that that used to be me
seeing those pictures is quite scary because i see them and do not remember. so i said to mom “who are those pictures of”? she once again must explain to me that those pictures were me after my car accident which is both positive and negative.
its positive because i don’t ever want to think of that day again: however, its negative at the same time because 1. i really do not like exercising, 2. i also do not understand why my body doesn’t move when i ask it to, 3. i really hate not being able to remember things everyday. these things make me confused and angry. i guess thats what it is, a confusing life i must go on with. my mom keeps saying its not forever its just for now so i keep asking “then how long is the ‘for now’ mom”? the problem is no one quite knows?
by the way, i still believe that you really should not speed when driving, i don’t care how much of a rush you are in!
writing this helps me to get my anger out and i am sorry this is hard to read however not every one can have a good day either. i wish that there was a secret to make it a good day and make things all better however we just have to go on. your day does not necessarily have to start when you wake up. you can start all over right now or whenever you are done being angry or frustrated. you can have as many do-overs as you need in one day. i’m on do-over #65, xoxo