We’re in another stressful “hold your breath” reauthorization period. Natalie is writing her letter to medicaid to ask for more sessions. Incredibly, we are in the “it’s unheard of” category for length of approved coverage for outpatient services. My response (as always) is “it’s unheard of” to see a person recover from such a low level injury. For every BUT…I counter with BUT LOOK AT THIS…please send your guardian angels to swarm the recipients of Natalie’s letter, we are looking for another 24 sessions. That would take us an additional 12 weeks. My hope is that Corey will be walking independently before she leaves Natalie. This can’t happen without professional therapy. If she’s discharged or not approved, it’s up to me to be PT 7 days a week.
Corrine has been an uninvited guest recently. I believe it’s because our nursing has been inconsistent over the last two weeks. Continuity of care is critical for Corey. This is another challenge we face; reteaching autonomy and independence.
This past weekend Corey and I watched Secretariat. It was released in 2010 (we were a little busy when it was originally playing in theaters). As I watched Diane Lane play the role of Penny Chenery Tweedy, her fierce determination resinated with me. That was me back in 2010. Almost 4 years later I recognize my fatigue.
As I watched Diane Lanes performance as Ms. Tweedy I admired her presence, her mindset, her defiance, her pride, and her drive. It brought back emotions that have slowly begun to unravel, especially over the last 6 months.
Caregivers are survivors too. It takes the same stamina, fortitude and will to move through recovery with the person you love. We are connected. There is no isolated circumstance. It is life, intertwined and strengthened by the mindset to overcome, succeed and empower. It is also life that challenges this perspective on a minute by minute basis every day.
A verse in the closing song, ‘It’s who you are’, written by Randal Wallace spoke to me;
Learning to bend and not to break
Living to give more than you take
Dying to live
Living to try
Feet on the ground
Dreams in the sky
It’s never how much you have
It’s who you are
It occurred to me, this is our family. This is who we are. No matter how hard the day, we keep dreaming; we keep ‘Living to try’. Everyday is hard as hell but we’re ‘learning to bend’ and REFUSE to break! xoxo