Tomorrow the letters for additional PT sessions will be sent to Medicaid. We are submitting documentation not only from Bryn Mawr but from Corey’s new DC team. The outline of the overlap of medications clearly explained her “regression” and her Doctor’s expect her physical function to return with the balance of the changes. Most importantly, it is stated that PT is medically necessary for Corey’s continued progress. Despite the supporting documentation, if the person reading the submission does not understand, or doesn’t read the attachments, we may begin yet another appeal process. All we can do is wait…you all know how well I do with that patience piece?
My mother passed away almost 9 years ago. I felt very lost after she died. At that time, I had a large sales territory and traveled every day. Mom and I would talk on the phone daily; she was in the hospital and I was on the road. I remember taking my first long trip after she passed and it felt very strange. How could I drive without my co-pilot? I felt lost. What was I going to do if I couldn’t talk through life’s joy’s and challenges with her?
I was on the Jersey Turnpike thinking of her, unable to stop my tears, when I knew I had to take a break at the next rest stop. I pulled myself together, picked up a bottle of water and as I stood waiting on the checkout line a small book caught my eye.
You’re Late Again, Lord! The impatient Woman’s Guide to God’s Timing – Karon Phillips Goodman
I smiled at the title as I heard my mother’s voice in my head, ‘this was written for you’! Reading the introduction was a sign my mother actually drove my car to that particular rest stop for me to find this little gem.
‘Sometimes, our days feel like one long check-out line; constantly waiting, barely inching forward, unable to see the obstacles, doubtful of a satisfactory outcome in this lifetime’. ‘Through all the delays that we misunderstand, we never seem to get very far from where we started’. ‘We argue with our Lord over His timing and fail to see that every day is a chance, full of purpose – even if we’re waiting’. ‘We believe that we could carry on even better if God would only cooperate. We demand the answers we need from Him, and yet we hear no response. We question and condemn the intolerable delays in the events we need to happen in our lives and yet nothing changes. Doesn’t God know that we need those answers NOW’?
I found myself smiling…this was a conversation Mom and I used to have and giggle about all the time. I heard her voice as I continued to read the words of the author.
‘Yes, He knows, but thankfully, He’s smarter than we are. Because He knows how hard it is for us to wait, to abandon control, and to trust beyond ourselves, He has devised a plan just for us’. ‘Your waiting doesn’t have to be unproductive – He knows our workhorse hearts. He knows our need to do WHILE we wait. So when your life is at a standstill over what you can’t control, and when you’re waiting on answers that never seem to come, God says to use that time to work where you are. God says to learn THE ART OF WAITING PURPOSEFULLY.’
This was the genesis of Mom’s mantra, “It’s not the challenge you face but how you face the challenge”. What do we do while we sit in the waiting room?
I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and worried, anticipating the physical repercussions of changing Corey’s medications. Waiting is hard work. It’s uncomfortable and frustrating especially when the clocks have been unplugged from a timeline. Mom’s not answering the phone the same way she used to but it occurred to me I needed to pull into a virtual rest stop. I pulled this little book of wisdom out of my bedside table hoping to hear my mother’s voice again.
‘You can’t uncover guidance if you doubt it’s there’. ‘Turn to God and ask for the guidance you need FOR TODAY. That’s how you start to surrender; by giving God THIS DAY. You wait purposefully by starting with TODAY’.
Thanks for riding shotgun mom, xoxo