When I arrived tonight, it was obvious that Corey had a very long week. She was alert, but appeared to be tired. As we sat and talked this evening there were several times she became weepy. She’s showing emotion which is a positive sign. We went for a long walk on the first floor admiring the art exhibit in the halls. We spent some time in the family lounge. She joined me for dinner in the cafeteria. I had guilt eating in front of her but I chose seafood bisque and a salad in honor of her being a vegetarian. When we returned to her room she began to cry again. I decided to put in a movie for us; her favorite – National Treasure. We sat and held hands until she dozed off to sleep.
As I sat with Corey and watched her sleep I thought of my mother. We have a picture of Mom hanging in Corey’s room. Mom and I had a long talk tonight. She had a way of finding just the right words that comforted you yet gave you something to think about, something to hold onto so you could move forward through whatever challenge you were facing.
Mom passed away 5 years ago. Now who would give me those pep talks? I decided to carry a small 3×5 journal with me. In it I would only write positive, inspirational sayings or messages that meant something to me. When I have a bad day, I read those messages. I’m on my second book. Tonight as I sat with Corey and was struggling with my questions and emotions I pulled out my journal. One of the first entries was something a friend sent me in April of 2009, author unknown to me.
Dancing with God
When I meditated on the word GUIDANCE, I kept seeing “dance” at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God’s will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn’t flow with the music and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and let’s the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It’s as if two become on body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word GUIDANCE. When I saw “G” I thought of God, followed by “U” and “I”. “God” – “U” – and “I” “Dance”. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God’s blessings and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in Him as He abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting Him to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.
Corey, you know this is a story that Dedema would tell us. We can sit here and ask the “why’s”, guess at the “when” and struggle with the “what if’s”. Let’s not forget that Dedema would also remind us it’s in His time. That answer is so hard to accept and live with each day. It’s not what we want to hear or what we want to wait for. The best we can ask for today is Guidance.
Perhaps you already have and that’s why your right foot never stops moving? You’re already dancing and you’re telling us it’s time we listen to the same song.
We love you Corey! Happy dreams, xoxo