Many of you have sensed that this has been a really long week. Corey’s not been her self and she’s been extremely frustrated. Yesterday was a traumatic day for me. I was coming home and was once again minutes from a three car accident on “Corey’s Corner”; the intersection of Route 841 & Route 896. There were passerby’s that stopped to assist but I could not. When I returned home I could barely stop shaking and I was furious. How many families have to suffer before a light is put in? I was emotionally thrown back to the Why’s?
I wrote last night but not for the carepage. I keep a separate folder in my computer for the dark pages. Its a stream of conscious writing technique to release what is within me. This exercise usually helps me to expel the negative in order to refocus and change my perspective. Last night I couldn’t write with any positive energy.
In previous writings I’ve shared some of the coping strategies that help me work on acceptance of our new reality. Last night no website and no mind trick could offer any solace. Truthfully, all I wanted was to talk to my mother. The vision that came to my mind was of her in her hospital bed. Just before she fell asleep she would take out her rosaries and a prayer card she kept with her. On one side, a prayer called The Weaver; on the reverse side He Maketh No Mistake. She read this card every night (I’m sure for many years prior to her illness). I keep a copy of this card in my nightstand. For the last 36 hours I have read and reread this card hoping to find comfort, answers or some kind of understanding of the Why’s. An email came today that might be a partial answer.
I was introduced to Marilyn Spivack, co-founder of the Brain Injury Association of America, almost a year ago. She has been an amazing friend and source of strength for me. Her daughter’s accident was 34 years ago. There was no research, support or funding for Traumatic Brain Injury back then. Marilyn and her husband founded the Association to help other families so they wouldn’t struggle with the lack of information or support that they were forced to discover as they survived their daughters accident. The Association has grown and now there is a local chapter per state nationwide.
Marilyn and I speak frequently. We discuss Corey’s progress, therapies and the tricks I’ve learned to compensate for what we need to further her recovery. Marilyn has strongly encouraged me to seek out whatever seminars or educational conferences I could find to further educate myself on TBI. She also suggested that I become a family advocate and get on a speaking circuit. She believes other families can benefit from learning about Corey’s story and how we are helping her through her recovery. After researching the local chapters along the NE corridor, I found that the BIA of PA had a call out for new presentations for their upcoming Annual Conference in June. Their topic; Improving the Quality of Life – Practical Approaches and Cutting Edge Strategies. I wrote a presentation and submitted it.
The day after Insurance is denied – A caregiver’s guide to home therapy
How many of us sat beside our loved one wondering how did we get here and what will be do when it’s time to go home? October 2, 2010 my daughter Corey, 17, was a passenger in a tragic car accident. Healing from multiple fractures and a diffused axonal injury she was measured against statistics based on the national average of patients with TBI. Denied by twenty nursing homes moving home was our only choice.
This course will discuss home renovations, organizing the caregiver’s space, “MomGyver” tips to using household items as therapy tools and creative solutions for cognitive therapy.
The email I received today was notification that the presentation was accepted into the Speakers Circuit.
I don’t have any answers to the Why’s. However, I do believe Corey’s story can help advance the changes needed to help other families. Representative Gabby Gifford is a wonderful example of strength and recovery when given acute care and intensive therapy. Her progress is a testimony to what can be achieved given every resource available. Corey’s story is equally important. It’s the story of what can be achieved for the average American including how we fought for the same resources and why it’s critical we work toward further change. Therefore I will continue to reach out to the Senate and the Congress to bring awareness to Traumatic Brain Injury. I will work with the BIA to continue to fight for hospital reimbursement for acute care, coverage for in-home and outpatient rehabilitation, especially in regard to the patient’s length of stay and plan of care.
Why Corey? What will be revealed within the pattern of her tapestry? I don’t know, but if her story can help other families I have to try to accept that it’s not a mistake.
Thanks for the talk mom, xoxo
My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors, He worketh steadily.
Oft-times He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride, forget He sees the upper and I the under side.
Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly, shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful, in the Weaver’s skillful hand, as the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.
He Maketh No Mistake
My Father’s way may twist and turn, my heart may throb and ache.
But in my soul I’m glad I know He maketh no mistake.
My cherished plan may go astray, my hopes may fade away.
But still I’ll trust in my Lord to lead, for he doth knows the way.
Tho’ night be dark and it may seem that day will never break,
I’ll pin my faith, my all in Him, He maketh no mistake.
There’s so much now I cannot see, my eyesight far too dim.
But come what may, I’ll simply trust and leave it all to Him.
For by and by the mist will lift and plain it all He’ll make.
Through all the way, tho’ dark to me,
He made not one mistake.