The weekend away was great. It couldn’t have happened without Caitlin, Suzanne, Denise, Kim, Jackie and JohnPaul. Corey had her moments but fortunately Corrine’s appearances were brief. All in all, our team thought it went well and they are not only willing, they want me to go away again!
As you know we have been working with “Independence” as our newest key phrase. Today we discovered something very important. Independence typically is a word that inspires and motivates. Each time we speak to Corey adding this word to our mantra she flips out. After several outbursts I focused on peeling back the emotional onion.
C-I don’t want independence
M-why, what is it about that word you don’t like
C-I don’t want it, I’m fine now. I’m not a full adult yet, I’m not ready.
M-you are an adult and getting stronger everyday. why don’t you like that word? what does that word mean to you?
M-do you think independence means you will be alone?
C-you will leave me
M-honey, independence means you can do everything you want ON YOUR OWN, without the physical help of others. It doesn’t mean you will be alone or once you’re independent everyone will leave you.
Corey instantly calmed down.
What a revelation. A word that typically drives an individual crippled Corey’s confidence. These are the moments that reveal our stumbling blocks. These are the moments that can either set us back or help us determine our next course of action. Now that we understand how Corey interprets her independence we can reassure her that this word is positive not negative. Our goal for her independence doesn’t lead to abandonment.
As Corey continues to progress emotionally and cognitively, it is critical that we dissect each outburst to find the core of her fear by asking leading questions. Her answers will allow her to release her anxiety.
There are so many facets to her recovery. They disclose themselves differently each day. Despite the experience we’ve gained in the last 3 1/2 years, there are days, like today, I feel as if we are at the beginning trying to sort it all out.
I’m pretty sure that’s called LIFE…here’s to another new day of discovery, xoxo